For The Mother You Are Becoming

For the mother you are becoming

I have been thinking about what it means to become someone who can hold themselves gently.

I love my mother.
But our relationship has not always been easy.

There were moments of closeness.
And moments of distance.

For a long time, I thought healing meant
changing the relationship between us.

But over the past few months,
something shifted.

I started turning inward instead.

During my healing process,
I began to notice a younger version of myself.

A part of me that still felt hurt.
Still waiting to be comforted.
Still hoping to be seen.

And for the first time,
I did not push her away.

I stayed.

There were moments
when I could feel that younger version of me
show up strongly.

Overwhelmed.
Tired.
Wanting reassurance.

And instead of ignoring it,
I began to respond differently.

I would pause.
Place my hand on my chest.
And quietly say,

“I am here.”

Something in my body would soften.

Not all at once.
But enough.

Enough to feel a little more grounded.
A little more held.

I began to understand something I had not seen before.

That nurturing does not only come from outside of us.
It can be something we learn to give to ourselves.

Slowly.
Gently.

Again and again.

To me, this is what it means
to become a mother to yourself.

Not in a perfect way.
But in a present way.

To notice when you are hurting.
To stay when it feels easier to leave.
To respond with care instead of judgment.

This shift has changed how I see love.

It is no longer something I am waiting for.
It is something I am practicing.

Lately, I have been more intentional about the pieces I wear.

Not for how they look.
But for how they make me feel.

When I am working through deeper emotions,
I find myself drawn to softer, heart centered stones.

Pieces that remind me to stay open.
To respond with compassion instead of judgment.

And at the same time,
I also need something grounding.

Something that brings me back into my body.
Back into a sense of safety.

This balance between softness and stability
is something I am slowly learning to hold.

It is also what inspired the direction
of the new pieces I have been working on.

A quiet reminder
that compassion can begin from within.

If you are in a season of becoming,
of healing,
of learning how to care for yourself in a new way,

you are not alone.

This version of you
is still unfolding.

Maybe becoming is not about becoming someone new at all. Maybe it is learning how to stay with yourself more honestly than before.